Why You Shouldn’t Move In Together: 3 Biblical Reasons to Reject Cohabitation

With mortgage and rent rates rising at a pace salaries can’t keep up with, young people face some hard decisions on where to live. According to Fortune, 49% of young adults (ages 18-29) live with their parents. Others opt to live with roommates to reduce the cost of living. While in generations past homeownership was a given, nowadays it’s more of an aspiration. 

As a pastor, I come in contact with a lot of engaged couples who are navigating this challenging situation. And a good number of them choose to live together to help reduce the cost. Their rationale is something like this: “We will soon be married, and this makes financial sense, so what’s the big deal?”

It matters how we answer this question. If we are pragmatists, looking for the best logical solution for two people, it absolutely makes sense to live together before marriage. No need to pay double rent. But if we are followers of Christ, our life is not our own. We have been bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). And therefore, it is incumbent upon us to search out the word of God in an effort to obey and conform our plans to God’s will. 

Here are 3 reasons to say no to cohabitation, for God’s glory and our joy:

#1: Living together invites temptation.

1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to flee from sexual immorality. We are to run away from situations where we are tempted to dishonor God and our bodies through porneia — sexual activity outside of the beautiful context of marriage. Living together is not only not fleeing from, it’s cultivating an environment where temptation is constant.

#2: Living together invites speculation.

Ephesians 5:3 says that followers of Jesus should have a reputation for purity. You may wonder why it matters what other people think of you. Well, our lives are a testament to the holiness and glory of Christ, and choosing counter-cultural purity until marriage makes it clear that our aim is to please Him. Even if a couple can manage to live together and not sin, cohabitation sends the wrong message.

#3: Living together cheapens the marriage bed.

Hebrews 13:4 says marriage should be held in honor, and the marriage bed should be undefiled. This is talking about the physical bed in which we sleep and have sex. It’s not just about the mattress; it’s about the heart. Sleeping together before marriage, even in a nonsexual way, cheapens the sacred experience of coming together in marriage.

It is clear from Scripture that living together before marriage is unwise at best, and most likely blatant rebellion against what God has given us in His word. And praise God for this clarity. When we understand what God intends for us, it is an opportunity to obey and flourish — not that our joy would be constrained but that it would be unleashed. His way is always better, even if obedience is inconvenient or downright costly. 

Marriage is a gift from God, one given early in creation with great priority and honor. So may we, as children of God through Christ’s reconciling blood, gladly come under what God’s word says and prepare ourselves well for a beautiful, God-given union.